I have wanted to write about my journey about becoming a father and raising a child ever since my son was born 7 months ago. It is crazy to think of the challenges that are thrown at you as a new parent, which you never imagined having to deal with before. I now understand that responsibility in new unthinkable ways. So I am going to be writing about my journey as a father and role model as I try to guide this little one along a respectable path. However, it dawned on me that before I write about myself I have to throw some props to, not only my mother for raising me as a single mother, but also the countless single mothers in the trenches parenting their butts off. In the words of Aretha….R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

As a new father I am constantly confronted with my inadequacies as a human being when it comes to being responsible for another human life. I don’t think anyone is ever fully prepared for what it means to become a parent. From the late nights, to dirty diapers, flu shots, vaccines etc., every aspect about being a parent challenges your comfort zone.

*True story* a week after my son was born we rushed him to the doctor because he hadn’t pooped in 5 days. Of course he was perfectly fine but hey those are the kinds of things you worry about as a new parent.  Is he pooping enough?!

I am the first to admit that I am blessed and I am thankful for my blessings everyday. I have always wanted a son, a legacy to carry on my name and that was the gift that I received. My son is blessed to have two parents present at every stage of his development, a truly a priceless gift.  Not everyone is so fortunate, for whatever reason. More often than not that responsibility is born on the mother alone.

Firstly, I would like to thank my wife for everything she has done to provide me with the gift of our son. Her strength and determination through the process of childbirth is a marvel unto itself and for that I am forever grateful. As every day passes that I watch my son grow and develop, I can not help but to reflect on my own upbringing and how I was raised. I watch as two parents, my wife and I, lean on one another as we muddle our way through this process of first time parents. And as each day goes by I am whole heartedly amazed at what amazing creatures women are as a species and a spiritual being. More importantly I respect the deity that is the single mother for all that she is, that my own mother was.


I want to start off by stating I was raised by one of the greatest single mothers that God ever put on the green earth. I want to state foremost that I personally never felt inadequate by being raised by a single mother and although we may not have been financially wealthy I was endowed with a wealth of unconditional love. As one of three children I always knew that being a single mother was a struggle, and there were times I watched my mother sacrifice so that her children could be better off. She doesn’t like me to talk about this, but some nights she would not eat to make sure we had enough food. As an adult I understand the challenges that she faced as a single mother and would like to recognize her struggle.


For the record I was not an easy child. In fact I was down right difficult. I faced my own struggles and battled my own demons, metaphorically speaking. And as a young boy raised in a house full of women I did feel alone, and neglected due to the absence of my own father in my life. It is not an easy thing to admit, but those are the real emotions that can plague a son being raised by a single mother. But no matter what inner turmoil I faced, I can affirm that I always felt loved, maybe misunderstood by loved none the less. I digress, because this post is not about my personal upbringings per se. It is an opportunity to acknowledge the countless women that go unnoticed on a daily basis, especially the women trying to raise a Man in this harsh world.

The single parent family is a norm for many in this modern era. According to the 2016 U.S. Census Bureau, 69% (73.9 million) of children in the U.S. are raised in a two parent household. Conversely, 23% (12 million) of children living in the U.S. are being raised by a single mother, nearly a 4X increase in the 1960s (8%). Approximately 4 out of 10 children were born to unwed mothers with two thirds of those women under the age of 30. Today, 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 are being raised without a father, with 40% of those kids living below the poverty line. In the workplace, a single mother on average earns 79 cents for every $1 a man earns. Women of color earn even less (African American 64 cents & Hispanic 56 cents for ever $1 a man earns). An obvious disparity exists between two parent households (with a median household income of $84K) vs. single mothers (with a median household income of $34K). This data confirms that single mother’s have to do more with less, with one third of single mothers receiving child support. Furthermore, 36.5% of single mothers live in extreme poverty, with women of color facing even dire statistics. This systemic inequality translates to decreased access to healthcare, education and childcare. In short it’s hard being a single mother while trying to raise a productive member of society.

Those are the statistics. I am not here to post the battle cry for single mothers. However I do think that they deserve our respect, dedication and reflection. Gone are the days when we adopted the “it takes a village” approach to child rearing. We as a society are guilty of forsaking our fellow man or in this case woman in their time of need. Most importantly, the men of the future need strong role models. It is one thing to be a father and it is another to be a role model.  I will admit I was blessed with a strong network of male role models in my own life that helped to steer me from a more insidious path. They encompassed all areas of my life including church, school, family and friends. We need these role models even more today, where men a constantly ravaged by society where their lives can change in the blink of an eye. So I say be the change you wish to see in the world. You have no idea what positive effect a conversation can have on the next generation.

I am willing to admit that without those strong male role models in my life my circumstances may have turned out to be very different. There is a real possibility I could have ended up in jail, dead or worse. Instead you have a PhD educated cancer research scientist, with a family of his own and a son to lead. #Blessed

All mothers make a sacrifice to bring life into this world. Single mothers are a special breed that deserves our love, respect and support. There is nothing wrong with us acknowledging their journey. So if a single mother raised you make sure she understands that you appreciate the sacrifices she has made to bring you where you are in this world. Furthermore, we all know single mothers out there trying to do it on their own. I challenge the real men out there to be that role model that may save a life.

Why? Giving Gendry to Melisandre

1. Why isn’t Arya headed North?

After exacting revenge on Walder Frey for the death of her Mother and Brother we see Arya heading south to King’s Landing to kill the Queen (Cersei). After spending so much time alone in her quest to become an assassin one would think that Arya should be headed home to Winterfell for a family reunion.

2. How do you stop a Zombie Giant?

With the latest development we see that the White King as turned a giant into a walker. This does not bode well for the men of the watch or everyone south of the wall. Our only guess to stop a Zombie Giant requires Dragon Fire.

3. Can we get more of Lady Mormont?

Lady Mormont has proven herself to be one of the most endearing characters of Westeros. Her support for The Stark family and the North, is unwavering in the face of sexism and misogyny. Give us more of Lady Mormont, SHE SLAYS!

4. Will Jon Snow’s sense of Honor & Duty get him killed…again?

Jon Snow faced an opportunity to reclaim the castles of those not loyal to the stark family. His sister Sansa advocated for the breakdown of his betrayers progeny. Instead Jon sought to seek fealty to the children of those who had betrayed his family. A noble gesture, however we are left to wonder if acts of kindness such as these will only get him killed as it did before as commander of the night’s watch.

5. Where is Ghost…can we get a quick shot of our favorite Dire Wolf?

We once had 6 dire wolves to Marvel at in season one. As the name sake of the Stark family the dire wolf holds great symbolism similar to Daenrys and her dragons. As far as we can tell, the dire wolf companion of Jon Snow, Ghost, is the last remaining dire wolf of the litter and has served him well over the years. However in this season's opening we did not see Ghost make an appearance. What gives?!

6. Is Cersei the Mad Queen Now?

Tales of the Mad King depict someone who had lost all confidence of those around him, who sought to inflict pain and heart ache to all those he deemed an enemy. Enter Cersei Lanister, who has lost all three of her children, her father and her mother. Increasingly she sets to distance herself from the rest of the world. Her unapologetic use of dragon fire aligns her with the Mad King of old who was obsessed with it.

7. Is the Lord of Light Real?

To be honest like all of the Gods referenced in GOT I had previously marked the Lord of Light as another fantasy of the faithful believers. But to be fair we have seen the magic that his followers possess (e.g. Melisandre). We have also seen him bring people back to life from the dead including Jon Snow and Beric Dondarrion. With that being said, can we expect a special appearance by the lord of light himself? I don’t see why not.

8. How much shit can one man take, Sam Tarly?

Ok this one is just a bit melodramatic but C’mon man. Like seriously, why were people just leaving excrement under their bed for Sam to take out. It aint that serious Brah. Take Gilly and go get you some had sanitizer. FOREVER UNCLEAN! And they had him serving people food with his feces hands. Yuck!

9. Will Jamie turn on Cersei?

Ok, over the past 6 years we have come to realize that Jamie isn’t inherently evil like his sister or father and in fact is more so the victim of their world domination desires. With the death of his youngest child with Cersei, Tommen, Jamie knows a part of Cersei is broken. He too fears what she is now capable of. The question is where does this leave him?

10. So Tyrion couldn’t get one Line in the Premier?

I’ve come to enjoy watching that little drunken, philandering dwarf. Yet they rob us of almost any Tyrion time in the season premiere. He doesn’t show up until the end, which is all Daenerys' time. Let us hope they rectify this in the next episode.

11. Is Ed Sheeran gonna die?

Ed Sheeran treated us with a rare celerity guest appearance in the premiere episode of season 7 GOT. Arya stumbles upon him and his fellow soldiers around a campfire eating dinner. After watching Arya scope out the weapons I was sure she would needle him in the neck. The only question now is how long will he last?

12. Is Dragonstone the key to defeating the White Walkers?

So Sam Tarly discovered that a mountain of dragonglass lay underneath the newly conquered land of Daenerys Targaryen, Dragonstone. Presently, the only two ways to kill a white walker are with Valaryian Steel and Dragonglass. With a mountain of dragonglass left to be mined in Dragonstone, this may provide the key to defeating the white walkers

13. How did Jorah the Andal end up prisoner in Old Town?

Sam stumbles upon Jorah the Andal in a prison in Oldtown, while serving his duties. No doubt Jorah was probably there in search of the cure for greyscale, as directed by his queen. We see his arm covered in afflictions, suggesting he has not found the cure. In true dedication to his queen his only concern remains her arrival in Westeros. Will he be cured? It doesn’t look good for Jorah.