Do they know what I really see?
Or do they believe their reality is me?
Cuz truth be told I never really knew who or what I wanted to be,
Or where the road was destined to lead.
Truth be told I probably never will know,
But I hope I will end up with an earnest deed,
Switched my mind so much, wasn't quite sure I didn't have ADD
But right now in this moment, I am challenged to be the me that they see.
But what does that mean?
Every day the cross gets heavier to bare.
And as the failures mount,
I start to feel the probing invasive stare.
As I am consumed by the emptiness,
Tempted to wallow in the depth for despair,
Struggling to push on, push through
When it takes every ounce of energy to even care.
And honestly its easier to just give up and forget the dream,
But then who would I really be,
Because that givin up shit, it just aint me.
Its easy to say that we all know our path,
And that everything you want is within grasp.
But the grasp seems never to be reached,
And those uncertainties they start to creep.
Because as they perceive that all-star image of you,
They will never know that their perception toils at your hopes anew.
But I know that no matter what they perceive of me,
Its very far from the reality they see.
I haven't a clue if what I am doing makes my purpose true,
Or if I am really the fool that I Rue.
And with this glimmer of hope stuck in my eye,
Am I wasting this precious time that flies by?
In the end I am a simple man who yearns for family,
And with no one around I'm left to question my sanity.
Stuck in a world where no one truly gets me,
And left to pretend that they are all just like me.
But they're not, I'm different
Not better, not worse, just different.
But that can be just enough to make you doubt everything,
And question yourself, your goals and your motives
Enough to lose yourself in the stagnation,
And become what their perception is telling you must be,
Knowing that as a result you will truly never be free
And I do not know where this road will lead me,
But let my will hold firm, steadfast till my knuckles bleed.
Ache and Pain, Cry and shame,
Give everything you've got to the game.
Because as only the forgotten can admonish you,
That a withered dream can make an eternity your due.
So embrace that failure to the core with shame,
Internalize every ounce of Pain.
Garner the glares, and cultivate the disdain.
Because when you feel you have lost all that is sane,
Is when your true brilliance, to the surface will claim.
-Percival
-Percival
