Photo credit: Lel4nd / Foter.com / CC BY

This post has probably been a long time coming; I have just been avoiding it because it forces me to confront a reality that I don’t like to relive. The fact that the one person who believed in me even when I did not believe in myself, is not here to share in these major milestones of my life. The person to whom I refer is my grandfather, James Audley Wilberforce Carey Sr. Lately, I’ve been thinking about where my life would be without this man and the role he played in my life, and the endless possibilities are increasingly disparaging. As an adolescent I admittedly was full of rage, and lost in a sea of anger. Call it traditional youthful rebellion, call it adolescent anger or just call me an idiot, take your pic but not unlike most teenage boys I often let my anger consume my entire existence and would lash out at those around me. As a result I was suspended for fighting in high school three different times and was on the verge of expulsion. Looking back at it now, I could not tell you why I was so angry, or why a relatively intelligent young man would constantly put his future in jeopardy over idiotic arguments. But what I can tell you is that, if it were not for my grandfather, I would never have overcame my issues with anger. Understanding the breadth of my actions and how they affected the person I cherished most in this world altered my perspective. It was just jolting enough for me to give pause and really examine my actions in reference to my past, my present and the probable future within my current trajectory.

           

Have you ever had someone believe in you even more than you believe in yourself? For those of you who have, you’ll understand that it’s the most invigorating feeling one can have. I am sure its similar to the pride a father feels when his son thinks he is superman. My grandfather was a simple, humble man. He did not stand very tall, and was not someone of extreme wealth but what he lacked in stature he proficiently supplemented for with character. As a scientist now fulfilling my passion, I am eternally indebted for the role my grandfather played in this natural progression of my career path. He cultivated my curiosity, a fundamental trait in my role as a research scientist. As a child with a natural curiosity, he spent countless hours answering every question I could muster, promoting adventures into understanding and educating my young mind on the ways of the world.

           

The climax of the relationship with my grandfather came when I set off for college. As a young 17-year-old boy from the small islands of the Bahamas, with not a lot of worldly experience, setting forth in the world to attend University in the USA, was a daunting challenge. I knew that I had goals in life; at that time I wanted to become a medical doctor and knew that the journey began with college far away from home. A few days before I set forth on my journey (A journey that I seem to still be traveling) to Ohio (God only knows why Ohio), my grandfather sat me down and told me firstly that he was proud of me, secondly he believes in me, and that he expects great things from me. As a man of not many words I knew exactly what he meant, his affirmation of expected greatness was not an overzealous expectation for me to become the next Rhodes Scholar, but I knew that what he was telling me was that if I lived up to my potential then I could become whatever I desire. That was his version of greatness, having the strength to pursue my own desire. Which I now view as a simplistic, but profound outlook on the essence of greatness.

           

At this point in my life I was wholly uncertain of myself, and my own capabilities. I constantly doubted myself about whether or not I would complete my goal of becoming a physician or even just completing my undergraduate degree. But through out the years I have always looked back to that moment, and I have reflected on my grandfather’s belief in me. Honestly, it is that same belief that has helped to guide me through undergrad, graduate school and still drives me today as I undergo postgraduate training. Having someone believe in you beyond your own belief in yourself is a very powerful feeling, it can make you achieve accomplishments you did not phantom to attain. Lately I find myself reflecting on this belief, and wondering where would I be without the people who believed in me. Honestly it is not an easy answer, but that feeling of overwhelming support has helped guide me through the highs and lows of this roller coaster we call life.

           

But having something or someone to believe in is a fundamental aspect of human culture isn’t it? Religions, all religions, are based upon the ideology of Faith and believing in a higher power/purpose. Faith alone is a powerful emotion that has been described as fulfilling, revitalizing or even overwhelming. At the core of faithful living is the power of believing in something you can not see, hear or touch and believing it has a power that you can not control and do not understand but exists. At its core values faith is believing in the unbelievable.

           

Additionally, we are constantly confronted with the life affirming power of overwhelming belief every day. Avid sports fans channel this belief system through their favorite teams when believing that their support for their teams, no matter how far away, has a direct impact on the play and outcome of the game. Most athletes would tell you that when their fans are cheering them on they feel the energy transform them. They can feel the support that pushes them to levels beyond their own belief. And just like the power of having someone believe in you is transformative, the power of having someone or something to believe in can be just as impactful. As human beings it is no secret that we crave a higher purpose, this is why countless religions have existed since man began walking the earth. Countless Gods, countless religions, but all require one thing, faith. If you take a human being, and sequester them away from society/civilization and allow them to grow in isolation when you come back many years later they will have formed a belief system/religion stressing the need of human beings to crave something to believe in.

Now I know you are wondering how as a scientist, can you tout the powers of faith and believing when you search to de mystify most spiritual encounters. However, I argue that science in itself requires a powerful belief system. Over the past several centuries science has evolved to a level where we understand more things about human evolution than ever before. However, if you look back to the early scientists, they required a strong belief system in order to make the marquee discoveries of their day. One example is Edison and electricity, an invisible force that at the time could not be quantified however he was able to harness it into the light bulb. Albert Einstein believed whole-heartedly in the existence of gravity and the laws that bound its existence even without direct evidence. As a scientist it takes a strong belief system to pursue the unknown, to believe that you can prove what no one else has shown before, in essence science requires faith.

As human beings we spend a lot of time and energy, challenging one another’s belief system and attempting to debunk one belief over another (i.e. Which religion is the right religion, is one God/denomination the right one). But I challenge you to believe, not in the unknown or unseen but to believe in someone who is important in your life. Whether it is a family, friend or stranger, believe that they have the capacity to achieve that which they doubt. Life is full of non-believers (i.e. haters), but by my estimates having one person believe in you is enough to battle one thousand haters.

And although my grandfather is no longer walking this earthly plane I can still feel the power of his belief in me surging through my veins on a daily basis and for that I am eternally grateful. I can only hope to impart a similar affirmation on to my loved ones.

Dedicated to James Audley Wilberforce Carey Sr.  thanks for helping me become the man I am today